The Write Thing

After extensive pondering on the issue, I have come to the conclusion that dogs are better off than man. Hence, I would seriously suggest that the whole association of a “dog’s life” to a life of suffering and pain should be revised, if not altogether discontinued. Although research should be further pursued in this matter, I believe I am in a comfortable position to say that dogs in most cases have a much better life than man in today’s world.

But why am I saying this? Well, since the world changes in subtle ways, I must confess it took me a while to realize that the order of things was indeed being altered. Quite a few years ago, I would have definitely thought that dogs were sometimes very poor creatures misunderstood by their masters and in some cases exposed to the worst of mankind. Some of them still are, but the same could be said of man. Is a dog, for example, worse off than a homeless child?

However, I do not only think in extremes. In fact, I can simply think of how we travel in today’s world to realize that dogs can travel more easily than human beings. First of all, in today’s post-2001 world, traveling everywhere requires an inordinate amount of paperwork for the average homo erectus. Think of the required health insurance, passport, visa, statements declaring that you have no intention to overextend your stay and that there are sufficient funds on your bank account to finance your orgies in foreign lands. Now, what is requested of a dog if he wants to cross the Schengen’s frontier or simply be granted permanent residence in the US? Vaccines, and perhaps a couple of bureaucratic forms. Probably there will be no record of his digital paw prints, and he will not have to answer uncomfortable questions from immigration officials. Mind you…that dog will have easier access into foreign land than you ever will…and he will be able to stay forever.

Now, let’s go to the most interesting part of the analysis…the lesbian component. I think that lesbians in general are more likely to have a long-term relationship with their dogs than with a potential partner. Several factors here should be considered. First, dogs have a short life by human standards, which simplifies things…and, of course, it is always easier and more glamorous to remember a dead loved one than a living one. Second, dogs tend to be more accommodating to anything their owner would want, which saves you the hassle of typical marital arguments — of course, because dogs don’t speak.

In conclusion, provided that you can put up with the occasional barking, some questioning of your dominance, and the routine of a couple of daily walks, you should definitely fall in love with a dog. Mind you, I have fallen in love with a human being residing thousands of miles away, and getting anywhere near each other is laborious, so I really know what I am talking about. My dear friend, get yourself a dog now…it is not too late