Sep 02 2008
Birthday Parties
Two weekends in a row of birthday parties. First, that of a dead man whose work is universally acknowledged among the greatest in world literature. Barrio Norte, Buenos Aires. Selected crowd of guests, some of them rather prominent. My role was to accompany someone else, which is rather interesting when the milieu is foreign. It helps to create impressions and, I must confess, I sometimes can thrive on that. It is external passivity taken to the most active internalization of surroundings, people, manners, behaviors and — of course — food.
I like these gatherings where people really do not have a purpose to be there, but they are. Some were there to celebrate l’anniversaire de l’absent whereas most simply wanted to pay due homage to the hostess and continue to be in her radar. A song starts to play as the party draws to a close and the moment to cut the cake arrives: Pink Floyd’s The Wall. The man apparently liked it a lot, once more confirming — as if it were necessary — how simple literary genius can sometimes be. White cake, white frosting with a touch of coconut and dulce de leche, really good, even while I did not have any, only indulged in watching my valkyrie eat her small piece. And off we went, having mingled with a variety of characters that ranged from the most ridiculous to the most interesting (the last group, unfortunately, was rather scanty). The hostess preserves the tradition and the memory of her love for that man unblemished. He probably would have enjoyed the irony of death as he was being wined and dined in absentia.
The weekend after. Las Cañitas, my own birthday. I went through the details, the organization, and enjoyed it, for the first time in my life. I recognize my own behavior as a sign of growth. People I love and cherish, people whose friendship I value with a certainty that only deep feelings can award, were there to laugh and cheer as the day progressed into the shadow of its own cyclical renaissance, leaving me with a new definitive number from which I should be drawing a life for the next 365 days of my existence. I have plans, I am being born again into and out of myself. First inside, where it all lies. Then outside, to enjoy the world, breathe life into a wiser soul and thank the mystery of existence for shining some light along the way, and bringing her to me in her splendor. It really feels like happiness.
First of all….Happy birthday….es bueno comenzar a disfrutarlo, hay algo más que de madurez de sentido comun, de fatalidad revertida frente a las cosas en ello.
Es enternecedor, su final, suele sucederme cuando la leo que entiendo con exactitud el como dice las cosas, el tono, la pausa y me gusta, me hace sonreir y también me sorprende.
Le dejo un buen deseo….
Dear Emi,
Thank you so much for your words and your birthday wishes. They really move me. I am also glad to learn that you understand me. Actually, I feel you really do, and it is very nice to read your insightful comments.
That is what it is all about now – enjoy life. It is all so very much about it that it can be scary at times. But I think that part of the aging process consists in shedding one’s skin and letting some of the fears go…I guess I will keep on trying.
A kiss to you, my dear
Woolfian:
Si usted siente que la entiendo, no hay mal entendido posible, lo cual es tranquilizador, sabra usted que es complejo encontrar gente frente a la cual uno no debe sobreexplicarse.
Es cierto que el disfrutar de la vida es importante, tan cierto como que a veces suele ser atemorizante pero además de aquello que uisted bien dice, el miedo es inevitable en los seres humanos, por lo que negarlo resultaria un acto de cobardia o de idiotez supina. Más nos vale, seguir y conservar la mirada fresca y el corazon en un puño porque el precio de no hacerlo es, a mi entender vivir a medias.
My dear, you are a great writer so you don´t need any
insightful comments because they are just the truth.
Un saludo cordial
Thank you again for your comment, Emi. I fully agree with you on the difficulty of finding people who we can be ourselves with. Of course, living without fear or without a hint of uncertainty would overrule the very concept of life.
I am honored by your words regarding my writing. I really am. Thank you so much for reading me and for sharing in this experience of soul-searching and love for literature and other expressions of art. It is enriching to have a reader like you.
My very best regards, my dear
W.